Forecast for 2015

imageThe weather forecasts for Charleston in 2014 was filled with dark clouds but it’s looking like sunny skies ahead in 2015. Of course I mean this metaphorically. In actuality, 2015 has been freaking cold so far with record low temperatures. (which is why I am currently in Florida with my sister’s family, escaping the 30 degree weather). I would have to say though that both Will and I are generally happy people. At least I used to feel that way. But I feel like the past year there was a dark cloud that’s always hanging over me and following me everywhere I go. It follows me to work as I hear newly pregnant coworkers talk about how lucky they are to not have morning sickness… as I sit in my cubicle and think, “damn I would do anything for some morning sickness.” It follows me to every baby shower I go to and every one-year-old birthday party. It follows me to Facebook as I read the status posts of friends complaining that their baby is teething. Oh how I would love to have a teething baby or even a baby with colic. So I avoid facebook, sulk in my desk at work, and complain to Will constantly. I’ve let this dark cloud hang over me everyday. I’ve built my world around trying to get pregnant and having a baby of my own instead of building my world around the rest of my life, what’s really important: Will, our marriage, our health, our family, our friends, and other blessings that we have. I’m working on it but it’s hard. I guess acknowledgment is the first step. But I do know  that the sulking and complaining in 2014 was not a good look for me and it’s time to change my perspective a bit. And go back to being the happy gal I used to be. So here’s to sunny skies and positive vibes in 2015. That’s my news years resolution. What’s yours?

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9 thoughts on “Forecast for 2015

  1. Jennie says:

    My NY resolution is similar to yours. Infertility has a way of bring out the negativity in people (totally justified though). BTW I love the picture of Charleston. That is one of my favorite places to visit!

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    • Priscilla says:

      Thanks lady! And you know we still have the IVF card to play and even though we have mixed feelings, when I read your blog posts it makes it all seem worth it! So well see. We have a timeline for when we will go do An IVF so I feel good that we have a plan/timeline in place.

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      • Theresa says:

        It took me a really really long time to decide to move forward with ours, though in our case mainly for financial reasons. With that said though Id do it all over again, no hesitation. If you ever have any questions, let me know!

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  2. Yana says:

    Oh Priscilla, my heart totally breaks for you and your husband. I’ve been there and it totally sucks – like unexplainably sucks. I remember someone complaining to me once about how difficult it is to have a baby (which, of course it is, but the good so far outweighs the bad). . and all I wanted do do was yell at them, and cry. I cancelled my FB account and told my husband to never tell me when he heard any of his friends being pregnant after some friends boasted to us about how they got pregnant on the first try. Then, the day our second IVF cycle failed one of my best friends had her second baby and I nearly died inside. All I can say is that you can’t give up – IVF is definitely an option (our third try worked, just barely. . ). My in-laws had an infertility practice for many years and my MIL told me very, very rarely did she see anyone who persisted and didn’t give up not walk away with a baby. I have to say, honestly, that it was that notion that kept me going when I wanted to give up. Stay positive and know that you guys are in our thoughts!

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    • Priscilla says:

      Thanks Yana for all your sweet words. I think I was avoiding doing an IVF for all the wrong reasons but you’re absolutely right. at this point I got to keep going because I know if I do eventually it’ll be a baby in our future. Her own Ikelea we are meeting with Dr. Singleton this Friday to talk about the whole IVF procedure, costs, what to do from here. And I’m feeling for the first time ever actually excited about an IVF versus nervous.

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