I am just a normal, everyday, average 30 year old girl. A girl who met the man of my dreams and got married. And who lives in a little house in my dream city with my husband, our dog, and our cat. I have a very wonderful life, except for one thing: I am infertile.
I like to think that I am always optimistic. However when I look at my medical records all I can see is the big fat “Unexplained Infertility” written on the top line. And for me the hardest part is that “unexplained.” I wanna scream “figure it out!” but instead my optimism becomes pessimism. My laughter has turned to tears. And “learning to be patient” appears to have turned from a simple lesson to now a full on 2 semester class I am trying to pass. Luckily I have Will. Will is the best part of me. The part of me that keeps me laughing and smiling and optimistic. The part of me that was able to fight through tears as I bought a box of tampons today instead of buying a pregnancy test. He is the part of me that keeps me looking at the silver lining. The part of me that stays positive when all I want to do is scream. So I am infertile. Big deal. It’s just a stupid diagnosis. It’s just a little part of me. And why waste tears on something so little when there’s something much bigger…6 foot 7 inches to be exact… Waiting for me to go for a walk in the park with the dog. I love that.